Why Make Transition

My family's decision to consider other options for our church home was not an easy one. There were a lot of reasons behind the decision.

• Our children did not have others their age
• The service felt like a process rather than something joyful and uplifting.
• there were a few noise makers who demanded their way and their views seemed to always be acted upon.
• I did not like the way I felt and my attitude began to show it.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to clearly identify all the reasons or feelings that ultimately led to the decision to look at other options but I do feel that the stick that was once in wet moist mud was now in dry hard ground and would not move without a lot of damage to the earth around it and the possibility of a broken stick was very real. So I let go...
So now I am here with my thoughts trying to make sense of where I am and my responsibilities to use my gifts to serve and to lead/guide my family. I needed a home where I could glean and be refreshed. It was nice to roam but the desire to be identified with and folded in with a group of believers was strong.
I tried to make the change without cutting off ties to those I cared about and had worshiped with for so long but there was anger on the part of a few including some of the elders when I discussed the decision with the them. There was a lot of "what did we do?" and "how can we make it right?" that suddenly felt hollow as this was not a new conversation. It almost felt like disbelief on their part that I would actually consider making a change...
I know that there is a mentality of "company loyalty" which is like the "through thick and thin" paradigm. This is what I felt when I grew up in my hometown where there was only one church/congregation. When I moved to Anchorage and had a choice of bodies to connect with I moved to the place where I could be of most use and that fit my need for relationship, service and worship. I initially felt the need to be a part of the congregation that my parents had called home when they lived there but I found a connection with one of the other groups that worshiped in the area. I did feel some disappointment from those who felt I should attend and stay with the group I had some history with but my needs took me elsewhere.
So now I am making my way in this new place I am trying to call home. I still miss our former church home. I know that I probably do not have solutions to all these concerns but for now they are not so visible.
I was surprised that this choice had so much of an effect on others. I have told others that everything you do will effect someone else but never has this been so apparent to me as during this transition.

Sin

I had a good conversation with a co-worker yesterday that had to do with sin. Her concern was the number of young unwed girls getting pregnant and having children. The conversation continued on regarding repentance and acknowledgement of sin and how the church responds to that situation (sin). It seems that people are not willing to condemn anything any more. While we still love the sinner, the sin seems to be overlooked as if everything is OK. We show support for the girl and her child and make it look like everything is right again now that they have admitted they are pregnant (OK, it's kind of hard to hide that one).

The result of sin is still with us. Children apologize and expect the problem to be gone because they said "sorry". The item is still broken, the person is still hurt, the friend is still angry... the relationship is still damaged.

Effort to regain trust and trustworthiness is often nonexistent but the expectation is that confession has been made so it is the duty of the body to forgive and forget. Many would rather move away from or hope people forget about the problem rather than put in the effort into change or repentance.

It sometimes feels like I am being asked to move forward as if nothing has happened.

Sin is not something we readily admit to seeing and when it is seen, it is often treated with the relationship of "if you don't bother me I won't bother you".

How do we confront sin?

It reminded me of a situation that became public a couple of years ago that is still a part of our new congregation that we are currently attending. A person of leadership admitted to having an affair with a married women who also attended here. This caused his separation and ultimately led to a divorce. He did admit to the affair but it seems that many felt that the confession was the end of the problem. Many made decisions (opinions) on the right and wrong of the situation and hurt many more than those involved as people seemed to take sides. Blame flew and speculation increased. Two families go through the shredder.

Now I see him in attendance here and his former wife is attending elsewhere. I have heard that he recently had a child with another women. How is this repentance? How is this a benefit to the body?

"I have sinned" makes everything else OK?

I have talked to some about this and the most amazing comment that came back to me was that they didn't want him to loose him. While I agree regarding his salvation but are we to accept him under his terms?

This situation and the way this body appears to be handling it is making me question a lot of things. Transitions...what have I gotten myself into...