Why Make Transition

My family's decision to consider other options for our church home was not an easy one. There were a lot of reasons behind the decision.

• Our children did not have others their age
• The service felt like a process rather than something joyful and uplifting.
• there were a few noise makers who demanded their way and their views seemed to always be acted upon.
• I did not like the way I felt and my attitude began to show it.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to clearly identify all the reasons or feelings that ultimately led to the decision to look at other options but I do feel that the stick that was once in wet moist mud was now in dry hard ground and would not move without a lot of damage to the earth around it and the possibility of a broken stick was very real. So I let go...
So now I am here with my thoughts trying to make sense of where I am and my responsibilities to use my gifts to serve and to lead/guide my family. I needed a home where I could glean and be refreshed. It was nice to roam but the desire to be identified with and folded in with a group of believers was strong.
I tried to make the change without cutting off ties to those I cared about and had worshiped with for so long but there was anger on the part of a few including some of the elders when I discussed the decision with the them. There was a lot of "what did we do?" and "how can we make it right?" that suddenly felt hollow as this was not a new conversation. It almost felt like disbelief on their part that I would actually consider making a change...
I know that there is a mentality of "company loyalty" which is like the "through thick and thin" paradigm. This is what I felt when I grew up in my hometown where there was only one church/congregation. When I moved to Anchorage and had a choice of bodies to connect with I moved to the place where I could be of most use and that fit my need for relationship, service and worship. I initially felt the need to be a part of the congregation that my parents had called home when they lived there but I found a connection with one of the other groups that worshiped in the area. I did feel some disappointment from those who felt I should attend and stay with the group I had some history with but my needs took me elsewhere.
So now I am making my way in this new place I am trying to call home. I still miss our former church home. I know that I probably do not have solutions to all these concerns but for now they are not so visible.
I was surprised that this choice had so much of an effect on others. I have told others that everything you do will effect someone else but never has this been so apparent to me as during this transition.